Talking to those with not much to say..

How many times have you tried to ask someone what’s going on, all for them to shrug their shoulders in a aw, nah i’m fine kinda way.

But they’re not fine, and they probably know it too, yet with everything they’re mustering up all that escapes the tight ball of overwhelmed emotion is something along the lines of “nothing”. There are sooo many times I’ve felt this way, panicky, overwhelmed and unsure why.

To preface this conversation, a client of mine came in anxious and visibly tight. The client hesitated to discuss how they felt, but was open to explaining the recent incident causing the distress.

Me: “It sounds like you’re struggling with guilt”

Client: “I guess so”

Me: “okay, show me, with the clay guilt. it can be abstract or literal, whatever you want, just show me guilt”

… And this is where the magic happens when it comes to working with someone who doesn’t want to talk.

Me: “it might help to find where guilt is in your body”

Client: “my chest”

Me: “okay, what does it feel like, tight or sharp?”

Client: “tight”

Me: “okay, focus on that feeling and let that feeling come out through your hands into the clay, what does it make your hands want to do”

The art reveals what cannot be said (it cannot be said because it is in the unconscious/repressed). As the clay takes shape, ask the person what the clay looks like.

The KEY is that we are talking about how the clay looks, not what the person feels. Expand on this.

Client: “it looks like a tunnel”

Me: “what about it looks like a tunnel”

The person will go on to explain and it is your job as the facilitator to ask the right questions – I can write more on this if you’d like. Through this process, the person reveals what is being felt, and simultaneously comes to the self-recognition of what is going on.

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